Cyber safety test

Are parents floundering in a sea of pornography? You’d think so, if you paid attention to the alarmist statistics published in print media, but you’d be wrong. Here’s a humourous cyber safety test to illustrate the point:

1. Which of the following is not a social networking site?

• eBay
• Club Penguin
• Facebook
• Piczo

2. What does the following acronym stand for – PAW

• Phew, am wasted
• Play and wide
• Parents are watching
• Push and wait

3. What is edonkey?

• A virtual pet for children and young people to look after online
• A type of computer virus
• A file sharing programme
• A key logging programme manufactured by Edon

4. What does the following acronym stand for – ASL

• Age, surname, likes
• Alias, sex, location
• Age, sex, location
• Attitude, situation, loathes

5. According to OfCOM, what percentage of 8-15 year olds feel confident at getting the internet to do what they want it to?

• 87%
• 76%
• 25%
• 51%

6. What does LMIRL stand for?

• Let’s make it really loud
• Losers move in real low
• Let’s meet in real life
• Loads more in rap love

7. What does IWF stand for?

• Intensive wiki fulcrum
• Internet watch foundation
• Independent website forum
• Independent wi-fi field

8. What is a Trojan?

• A program that appears to be desirable but actually contains something harmful
• A computer with over 1GB of RAM
• A type of server which can connect over 200 client machines to the internet
• A program that allows you to illegally download music

9. What does SAMAGAL stand for?

• Stupid, am messing and getting all lairy!
• Stop annoying me and get a life!
• Sick and moaning again, get a life!
• Stop always moaning and get away love!

10 According to OfCOM, how many parents felt that their 12-15 year olds knew more about the internet than they did?

• 93%
• 34%
• 57%
• 77%

11. How much video content is uploaded to you tube every minute?

• 1 hour
• 100 hours
• 10 hours
• 30 minutes

12. In the UK, on Christmas Day 2008, how many internet visits were to Facebook?

• 1 in 50
• 1 in 5
• 1 in 10
• 1 in 100

13. What is a BLOG?

• A big log
• It stands for buy lots of gadgets
• An online diary
• A type of Trojan virus

14. What are you doing if you are twittering?

• Making high pitched sounds like a bird
• Leaving a comment on a free social networking site
• Speaking to a friend on a chat site
• Using an instant messaging service but not making any sense to the others using it

15. What is “sexting” used to describe?

• Sending an erotic picture
• Sending a text message, it’s just a play on words
• The process of online dating
• Searching the internet for inappropriate content

16. What are Safari and Firefox?

• Online games popular with teens
• Software companies who specialise in educational materials
• Web browsers
• Operating systems
• Install spyware so you can see what they are doing online

17. What does the following acronym stand for? POS

• Emergency!
• Parents over shoulder
• Point of sale
• Paedophile alert

18. What has happened to you if you’ve been flamed?

• A virus has attacked your machine
• Your online character has been deleted by another user
• You have been insulted by another internet user
• You’ve reached the highest possible level in the game you are playing

19. What does the acronym LMFR stand for?

• Let’s meet for real
• Lower Miami Fire and Rescue
• Looking for more
• Let me freaking read!

20. What does a cookie do?

• Make you fat
• A piece of information placed on a computer by a web server
• Remembers your passwords for you
• Shares your information with other users that you choose

16 D shows that the authors are probably geeks and have a sense of humour.

How did I end up looking at this? There’s an amusing aarticle on Crunchgear about research findings. PS. What’s 100 divided by 3.5? 28.6. Divide by 7? 4. Scary.

The sad thing about most of these companies is firstly the focus on children and secondly the peddling of disinformation. The whole “hackers can turn your computer into a bomb; buy our products” still persists in 2009. If anyone is interested in real products, check out open source tools, or consider quality products such as those from  xxxchurch or covenanteyes.